All's Fair in Love and Reality Shows
by foxshadow
Summary: AU. Enter the craziest gameshow where anything goes! But underneath the madness will there be one love? Or will it boil down to winner take all...
1. Welcome A Board

AN: Yay!! A new story!! FINALLY!! I was wondering if I was ever getting   
around to a new one.....and I'm sure you all were too. As a side   
note....I am currently suffering from severe writer's block for   
'Shattered Glass' so I might not update it as often as this fic.....and   
I will update this one often! Or try to at least....heh. Well, with all   
of that said and done....onto the fic!  
  
Oh...but first the disclaimer!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not currently own Inuyasha....but I'm looking for him   
on eBay. I mean come on! If they're selling October fashion bras and   
solid gold spoons they have to at least sell just one little   
hanyou......  
  
  
  
By the way...this is dedicated to one of my best friend.....Aejavu aka   
Aeja. She's an awesome person...although never ever call Nuriko gay   
around her. There will be lots of blood involved if you do.....and I   
guarantee it won't be her blood....  
  
  
  
  
All's Fair in Love and Reality Shows  
  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
  
  
Welcome A Board! (You'll get the title later on in the chapter....)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kagome Higurashi stepped off the plane and took in a lungful of fresh   
air. Being trapped on a plane with a person who actually uses those   
barf-bags for five hours had not been pleasant. Or pleasant smelling   
for that matter. Hitching her yellow backpack higher up on her   
shoulders and hoping that they hadn't sent her bags to Australia by   
mistake, she set off towards the taxi awaiting her.  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
After the taxi driver had seen her bright orange note, he sped off.   
After many hours of driving and of Kagome going insane from listening   
to the guy talk about his new son, they arrived at a luxurious looking   
hotel. Thanking the driver and yanking her backpack from the seat,   
Kagome walked timidly up to the huge revolving glass door. She stepped   
inside the lobby and looked around in amazement. "It looks like a   
mansion," she breathed. After taking in all of her surroundings, her   
eyes caught on one particular group of people roughly her own age,   
staring at the hotel in awe, clutching the same neon orange paper she   
was. Kagome trotted quickly over to them. Squeezing in next to a tall   
girl with her black hair up in a ponytail and a short kid with dull   
orange hair....and a tail?  
  
"Are you Kagome Higurashi?" Kagome looked up at the mention of her   
name.  
  
"Yea...that's me." The speaker was a tall man with long silver hair   
and....make-up? And a boa? Or was that a tail...like the kid's?  
  
"Good. Now everyone's here. We can begin." He cleared his throat, then   
began speaking again. this time in a much louder voice. "Hello! Welcome   
to The Shikon! I see that you all have gotten your invites. Those allow   
you to take taxi rides for free, and the tags that came with them that   
you attached to your bags allowed them to come straight to the hotel.   
But enough of that. I am Sesshoumaru Takahashi, the host of the newest   
reality game show......Hectic Hotel! (AN: Sorry...it's a really corny   
name, I know. But I suck at naming things...especially game shows..)  
  
A cheer rose from the group, receiving a dirty glare from the desk   
clerks in return.  
  
"I can't believe it!! We're on T.V.!!!" The girl next to Kagome turned   
to her and squealed. "This is gonna be so much fun!!"  
  
"Yeah, I know!!" Kagome's excitement matched the girl's. She couldn't   
believe they had chosen her. She'd never done anything exciting in her   
whole life...and here she was standing in the lobby of a billion-dollar   
hotel about to be on national television!  
  
"Here are the basics. You will be given more detailed rules when we   
start tomorrow. But anyway, you will be paired up with a person of the   
opposite sex." Murmurs arose from the crowd as everyone glanced   
nervously at the guy or girl near them. "You will share a room, and   
will complete challenges. And no," he added, "No one will be 'voted   
off.' The pair with the highest score at the end of the show will,   
obviously, be the winners!" Sesshoumaru offered a small smile at the   
eagerness of the group. Smiling was very rare for Sesshoumaru, as Kagome   
would find out later. "Now, let's pair off." He cleared his throat   
again and began. "Rin and Shippou! Come forward please!" The kid next   
to her (who looked to be about thirteen, two years younger than   
herself, Kagome figured) shot her a small smile, then ran to join a   
small black haired girl about his age. "Naraku and Kikyou, step up."   
Another girl walked up. Kagome took in a sharp breath. The girl looked   
enough like her, they could probably pass as twins! But her thoughts   
were broken as Naraku stepped up, a young man with long flowing   
hair......and a baboon pelt. "I feel bad for the Kikyou girl," Kagome   
muttered. "She's stuck with a wacko in a baboon cloak." The girl next   
to Kagome turned and grinned at her.  
  
"He's a weird one, isn't he?" But just as Kagome was about to reply,   
Sesshoumaru spoke again.  
  
"Miroku and Sango." The girl next to Kagome gave her another smile,   
then trotted up to Sesshoumaru and a guy with black hair in a short   
ponytail and long, purple robes.  
  
"Kagome and Kouga." Kagome gulped as she trudged warily up to   
Sesshoumaru and a tall, slim, brown-haired guy. With a tail. She gave   
Kouga a small smile as he eyed her. His eyes lit up and he looked like   
he had just gone shopping and found what he wanted. Kagome's small   
smile was replaced by a small frown and she turned and watched   
Sesshoumaru call out pairs.  
  
Soon she got bored with this, and she turned to the kid, Shippou. "Hey!   
I'm Kagome!"  
  
"I'm Shippou! Welcome aboard!" Shippou gave her a large piece of wood   
and grinned. "Get it? Welcome A Board? Welcome aboard?"  
  
"Yeah, I get it!" Kagome laughed....then started a real conversation   
with him.  
  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
  
Finally, Sesshoumaru reached the end of his list. "Inuyasha and Nazuna."   
A tall, muscular boy sullenly trudged up. He cast contempt filled   
glances at everyone, until his gaze found Miroku. He frowned even   
harder at Miroku, but his amber eyes had lost the scorn-filled look.   
Instead they were filled with a sort of gleam. Kagome shook her head,   
then turned her attention back to the host.  
  
Sesshoumaru was quietly conversing with a small, bald, frog-like man.   
And he did not look happy. "There seems to be a slight   
problem.....Nazuna was not able to make it. It turns out she declined   
our offer. So Inuyasha will have to be paired with a couple." That made   
the gleam go out in Inuyasha's eyes faster than the wind blows out a   
candle. "He will be paired up with.....Kouga and Kagome!" Kagome sent   
Inuyasha a small smile, which was returned with a snort. "Now, I will   
be handing out room numbers. Good luck to all of you!" While Sesshoumaru   
started passing out slips of paper, Inuyasha, Kouga, and Kagome gave   
each other uneasy looks, then edged away from each other.  
  
"Kagome!" A shout came from behind. Kagome whirled around, right into   
the girl that was next to her, Sango. "Hey! I'm Sango, but I guess   
you've already figured that out. What room did you get?" Kagome looked   
at her slip of paper.  
  
"Room 555, The Cherry Blossom Suite. What'd you get?"  
  
"Room 557, The Lily Suite. We're next to each other!"  
  
"Good! I was hoping I'd just be stuck with those two. They're about as   
talkative as a brick wall." Sango laughed.  
  
"Miroku's okay. Just a little....touchy. And perverted. He's a monk   
too...."  
  
"Touchy? A monk?"  
  
"Yeah. I'll show you. Oi, Miroku!" Miroku trotted up. "This is my   
friend, Kagome."  
  
"Ah, Lady Kagome," Miroku closed his eyes and kissed Kagome's hand,   
causing her to blush. "It is my pleasure to meet you. Will you bear my   
child?" The lobby went silent as Miroku was sent flying across the room.  
  
Sango broke the silence. "Well, he never asked me that."  
  
"I understand why you said perverted. But not why you said touchy.."  
  
"He's coming back. Obviously that punch you gave him didn't knock   
enough sense into him." Sure enough, Miroku was hobbling back over to   
them.  
  
"I would humbly like to beg Lady Kagome's forgiveness." He knelt before   
her and took her hand again.  
  
"Well......uh.......PERVERT!!!" Kagome sent another punch his way and   
soon he was flying across the room. Again.  
  
Kouga bounded up. "Are you alright Kagome?"  
  
"Uh...yea.....he just...well....is a little...."  
  
"He grabbed her ass," Sango stated bluntly.  
  
"Why that little....I'll teach him to mess with my woman!"  
  
"YOUR WOMAN?!" Kouga soon joined Miroku in a crumpled heap at the other   
end of the lobby. Sango was grinning broadly, and Inuyasha was howling   
with laughter. He then went to help Miroku up off of the ground, still   
chuckling. "You're this lech's friend?" Kagome looked in wonder at   
Inuyasha.  
  
"Good job. You aren't as stupid as you look....so far."  
  
"You asshole!" Another blow was dealt and Inuyasha was on the floor.   
"C'mon," Kagome motioned to Sango. "Let's go find our rooms."   
Sesshomaru chuckled as he watched their retreating backs. This would be   
more interesting than he thought......  
  
  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
AN: There. The first chapter. Finished. HOORAY!! Okay...it's short...I   
know...but hey! At least it's a chapter!! And I like this story...it is   
based on a dream I had....but I won't go into details.   
Anyway....questions? Comments? Concerns? Press the blue button the says   
'review' and let me here them!


	2. Flowers and Birth Defects

AN: Yay!! I got a total of...drumroll please...TWO reviews!!!! Yay!   
OK...I'll cut out my fake cheerfulness.....PLEASE REVIEW!!! I won't   
continue if you don't....because if I write eleven chapters and I only   
get a total of six reviews...it makes me sad......  
  
But anyway...a HUGE thank you goes out to Three-Letter-Word...my first   
reviewer!!!!! YAY!! Thank you sooo much!!! And another thanks goes out   
to Ashley...my other reviewer...even though I forced her to read   
it...^__^;;  
  
And of course...a big thanks to Kelsey (aka pink arrow kagome) for   
posting my fics.....since I have a retarded computer which won't let me   
post my own fics.....grrrrr....  
  
Cookies will be given to all of you.......^__^  
  
  
And of course...this fic is dedicated to Aeja aka Aejavu....since she's   
dedicating a fic to me! ^_^  
  
  
Anyway, enough with my ramblings. here's the disclaimer then on with   
the fic.  
  
Disclaimer: I own Inuyasha!! Muahahaha!! *fends off lawyers with large   
pencils and muffins*

Pink Arrow Kagome Note: I must add to Foxshadow's Disclaimer…she does

not own the saying 'No shit, Sherlock,' either! She stole it from me! Who,

in turn, stole it from somewhere else…can't remember where…but it's not

hers!! Ahem, can you tell I'm bored? I add notes to her stories when I have

nothing better to do…  
  
  
  
  
All's Fair in Love and Reality Shows  
  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
Flowers and Birth Defects  
  
  
  
  
  
"Woah!" Kagome stumbled back as she opened the door to her room and   
looked inside. It was so.....pink. "No wonder they call it the Cherry   
Blossom Suite," she said to Sango, walking into the room and looking at   
the mass of flowers. They crammed cherry blossoms into every possible   
nook and cranny. There were cherry blossoms on the beds, on the   
dressers and tables, inside the closet, on the curtains, patterns of   
them on the walls, and to both girls wonder, inside the mini fridge.  
  
"I really don't want to go up to my room," Sango exclaimed. "I'm   
allergic to lilies....." But just as Kagome was about to say something,   
the door burst open.  
  
"ARGH!!!" Inuyasha was covering his eyes with his hands...backing away   
from the room. "IT'S PINK!!!"  
  
"No shit Sherlock," Kagome said, before turning to her luggage.  
  
"There are flowers everywhere!!! And--ACK!! IS NOTHING SACRED?" Kagome   
and Sango stifled their giggles as they saw what Inuyasha had been   
yelling about. Inside the toilet there were floating five cherry   
blossoms. "I'm going to see Sesshomaru and see if we can get a room   
that's less....less.."  
  
"Pink?" guessed Kagome.  
  
"Flowery?" Sango offered.  
  
"Less disgustingly feminine," He then turned and marched out the door,   
pausing to shake his head in disgust as he saw dried cherry blossoms   
spelling out "The Cherry Blossom Suite."  
  
Kagome shook her head after he slammed the door behind him. "I am so   
not going to be able to live with him."  
  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
After helping Kagome unpack, Sango went to her own room, declining   
Kagome's offer to help with the unpacking and to call for an ambulance   
if the room triggered a severe allergic reaction when she opened the   
door. So Kagome flopped down on her pink and flowery bed. Staring up at   
the ceiling, she wondered what would happen with the two guys sharing a   
room with her. Kouga had poked his head in while the girls where   
unpacking, then quickly took it back out as he saw the flowery pinkness   
of the room. And Inuyasha hadn't come back from his discussion with   
Sesshoumaru about the room yet. Kagome sighed and rolled over on her   
stomach. She doubted he even went to go see the host. "He probably got   
lost on the way to the lobby," she said to herself. "He's such an   
idiot." A cute idiot, of course. Sighing once more she rolled over on   
her back again, watching the ornate ceiling fan spin lazily around.  
  
Spinning.  
  
Spinning.  
  
Spinning.  
  
Spinning.  
  
Spinning.  
  
"Hey Kagome!" Kagome shot up, then relaxed as she saw Shippou standing   
in the doorway. "The door was open a bit, so I thought I'd just stop   
in. That's okay, right? I didn't interrupt anything.....did I?" No,   
just her sudden fascination with the ceiling fan.  
  
"No, it's okay Shippou, I was just thinking. Come in." He padded over to   
the bed as he surveyed the room.  
  
"Nice room. It's better than ours. Our theme is "tigerlilies."   
Everything's a brilliant shade of orange." Kagome laughed.  
  
"You're the first guy to say something remotely pleasant about the   
room. The guys that have been here take one look at the room and run   
out screaming."  
  
"You really can't blame them. It's not the most masculine color. Or   
flower."  
  
"Yeah.....I know.....but Kouga and Inuyasha are going to have to live   
here for however long this thing is..."  
  
"Four weeks."  
  


"Okay...they're going to have to live here for four weeks...they could   
at least take it like a man and deal with it. It's not like I like it   
either."  
  
"Yeah...you're the more manly one!" Shippou grinned and Kagome laughed   
again. She liked this kid....but one thing was bothering her. What was   
with the tail?  
  
"Hey, Shippou. You don't have to answer this if you don't want to...but   
the whole tail thing....."  
  
"Oh yeah....about that. Whenever they have reality shows they always   
pick the most...er...interesting people. So this time they picked ones   
with interesting birth defects. If you noticed they went sort of tail-crazy....I

 have a tail....Kouga has a tail...even the host has a tail!"  
  
"Kouga has a tail?"  
  
"Yeah.....it just blends in with his clothes. And then I guess you   
haven't taken the goofy hat off of Inuyasha's head yet....have you?"  
  
"No...why?"  
  
"The next time you get a chance to...you'll see." He hopped off the   
bed and headed for the door. "I have to help finish unpacking. See ya   
later Kagome!"  
  
"Bye!" Poor kid...having to walk around with a bushy tail. And poor 

Kouga. She even felt a little twinge of pity for Sesshoumaru. "But   
what's under Inuyasha's hat? What...is there a tail growing out of his   
head?" She laid back down on her bed. The ceiling fan was still   
spinning.  
  
Spinning.  
  
Spinning.  
  
Spinning.  
  
Spinning.  
  
Spinning.  
  
Spin--zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
  
AN: Yayness! Another short chapter done!!!! Okay...the whole birth   
defects thing was lame......but I had to come up with an excuse for   
they're...*ahem* interesting....qualities....


	3. Of Men and Mice

AN: Sorry about the incredibly long update!! I've been sooooooooo busy!  
  
  
  
This fic is dedicated to Aeja aka Aejavu.......she's really a charming   
person.......as long as you stay out of throwing distance of heavy   
objects. Otherwise you won't find her QUITE as charming.... ^_~  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Just the merchandise.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
All's Fair in Love and Reality Shows  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
"Kagome! Hey...Kagome! Wake up!" A voice was calling Kagome...reaching   
her mind through the dark layers of sleep.  
  
"Mphmg..." was her reply as she rolled over and buried her face in the   
pillow.  
  
"Kagome, come on! Sesshoumaru wants us downstairs! NOW!" Kagome   
scrunched her eyes tighter. There was that voice again. She wished it   
would go away and leave her alone. The voice was silent for a minute,   
which pleased Kagome. Then it sighed, and said, "Kagome...dinner!"   
Food? Yeah....they had definitely said food. She sat straight up in   
bed, and looked right into the face of Sango.  
  
"Food? Let's go!" She raced down to the elevator, tapping her foot   
impatiently, waiting for Sango. Finally she came, trying, but failing   
horridly, to stifle her giggles. "What's so funny?" Kagome asked as the   
doors slid closed and they started to descend.  
  
"Someone here likes food....by the way...dinner's at 6..."  
  
"Wait....but it's....four...."  
  
"I know."  
  
  
"...........You are so evil."  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
Sango and Kagome were the last to arrive in the conference room. It   
looked more like a second lobby. There were cushy chairs and couches   
spread out, and a blazing fireplace. Sango nudged Kagome in her ribs to   
get her attention when Sesshoumaru started to speak. "As you all know we   
will be starting the competition tomorrow. I hope each of you find your   
rooms to your liking....yes Miss Sango?" Sesshoumaru looked thoroughly   
annoyed when Sango waved her hand.  
  
"Sir....I'm allergic to lilies."  
  
"That's nice...but what does it have to do with this?"  
  
"I'm staying in the Lily Suite."  
  
"Ah. Ok...we'll get you settled after this. Anyway, as I was saying,   
the competition starts at approximately 8:00 a.m. I expect all of you   
out of bed and downstairs before then. Hidden cameras will follow your   
every move throughout the contest. You are allowed free reign of the   
hotel, but you may not leave the grounds. Family and friends may visit   
every Sunday. No smoking and or drugs." Sesshoumaru paused, and stared   
intently at Inuyasha....who glared right back. "Now, here are the   
hotel's rules." The hotel sure had a heck of a lot more rules than the   
show did, because Sesshoumaru droned on for hours. Towards the end even   
he was distracted. He constantly cleared his throat and mumbled strings   
of words that made absolutely no sense. Kagome however, was intent on   
the ceiling fan once again. It was less intricate than the one in her   
room, but it fascinated her just the same. It kept spinning,  
and spinning,  
and spinning,  
and spinning,  
until she found herself once again being lulled to sleep by the fan's   
hum and Sesshoumaru's monotonous voice.  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
Kagome awoke with a start. The lobby was empty...except for Sango, who   
was snoring lightly beside her. Kagome stretched, then looked at her   
watch. It was 6:45. She'd missed dinner. Swearing lightly, she reached   
for Sango's shoulder to wake her up. "You should just leave her."   
Jumping at the sound of a voice in what she had thought was an empty   
room, Kagome slowly turned around. There was Inuyasha, sprawled in a   
chair, with his eyes closed. How could she have missed him? Especially   
in that bright red outfit?  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"'Cuz they've got a mini-fridge in each of the rooms...and she looked   
pretty wiped before she fell asleep. And I have the feeling she's not   
one of those people who like to be waken up right after falling   
asleep..."  
  
"True. Well.....help me carry her upstairs to my....our....room."  
  
"Why....our...room?"  
  
"Lilies remember?"  
  
"Ah...."  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
"Geez! What does she eat? Bricks?" Kagome and Inuyasha set Sango down   
on Kagome's bed. Well, more like they roughly dropped her onto the bed.   
Inuyasha plopped down in an overstuffed pink chair, and Kagome sunk   
down onto Kouga's bed. They sat in silence for awhile, until Kagome finally   
unburdened her mind.  
  
"Hey Inuyasha?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"What's under your hat?" The question seemed to surprise him.  
  
"Uh...my...head?" His hesitation didn't convince Kagome.  
  
"No, I mean…why do you always wear that hat? Shippou said that there   
was something under it!"  
  
"That little brat......" Inuyasha growled. "He was sitting next to me   
and Miroku on the plane. The whole ride he kept stealing my hat and   
running down the isles. Needless to say the stewardesses weren't very   
pleased....." He smiled a bit at the memory. Taking advantage of his   
trip down memory lane.....Kagome reached over and snatched the hat off.   
"Bitch! Give it back!!"  
  
"They're so....ADORABLE!!" Two dog ears stood alert on the top of   
Inuyasha's head, nestled in the mass of silvery hair. "Can I touch   
them? Please?!"  
  
"Uh......." Inuyasha was taken aback. He expected her to be   
repulsed...or run away screaming. "Sure?" Kagome gave a squeal of   
delight as she rubbed them. It felt...so...good.....Inuyasha's   
eyelids drooped.  
  
"Ack!" The screech caused Inuyasha and Kagome to jump. Turning around   
they saw Sango prancing around the bed as a little mouse ran across the   
covers. "Killitkillitkillitkillit!!!'"  
  
"Inuaysha...either kill it or do something useful!!" Now Kagome was   
dancing on top of Kouga's bed. Inuyasha dove onto the bed, succeeding   
in getting trampled by Sango. The mouse scurried off the bed and onto a   
flower-cover table.  
  
Kouga came in twenty minutes later, and stopped in the door. Kagome and   
Sango were yelling at the top of their lungs, "GO INUYASHA!! YOU CAN DO   
IT!!" and Inuyasha was chasing after what seemed to be a small white   
blur. Shaking his head and muttering about the strength of the hotel's   
alcohol...he headed outside to clear his head.  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
AN: *sigh* I'm no good at making long chapters...am I? Oh   
well....anyways... questions? Comments? I'm all ears!


	4. The Naked Truth

AN: Sorry for the delay folks, but I wanted to make this a long chapter   
for once....yeah...and as soon as I typed the title my sister walked   
in. She gave me a funny look when she read it.....  
  
  
Anyways...this fic as you probably already know.....is dedicated to one   
of my best friends.....Aeja. (Read her fics...they're AWESOME!! Her pen   
name is Aejavu.)*sigh* But she's a quote stealer....Oh well...I forgive   
her....^__^  
  
  
  
  
Alright....I've been caught. The lawyers came in the middle of the   
night last night and took me away. I can't tell you where I   
am.......but I can tell you why I'm where I am. The SLP (or Secret   
Lawyer Posse) has been tracking me down for days. It seems that I have   
been forgetting to put disclaimers....  
  
Lawyer 1: Just say it!  
  
Ouch...stop pushing me! Fine....I do not own Inuyasha. Happy?  
  
Lawyer 2: Nope! We will now begin to torture you!! Muahahahahaha!!  
  
SEND ME HELP!! PLEASE!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
All's Fair in Love and Reality Shows  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 4  
  
  
  
  
  
The Naked Truth (I'm laughing hysterically now...)  
  
  
  
  
After an exhausting night of watching Inuyasha lose a game of tag to a   
mouse, Kagome crashed into her bed. Groaning, she remembered that she   
still had to get in her pajamas. Strangely, Inuyasha was missing from   
his bed. Shrugging, she got up and grabbed her pajamas, pausing to   
snicker at Kouga who was drooling and twitching in his sleep. The   
bathroom light seeped out from underneath the door into the dark   
hallway, but nothing clicked in Kagome's head. Perhaps it was because   
it was ten o' clock at night and she had just woken up. After all,   
normal people's brains don't usually function very well when lack of   
sleep is involved. Well, at least mine doesn't. But for whatever the   
reason, Kagome rubbed her half-lidded eyes and reached for the door   
handle. As luck would have it...it was unlocked. She pushed the door   
open and was met with:  
  
"BITCH! CAN'T YOU KNOCK?!" Apparently, Inuyasha had thought of changing   
too. Blushing furiously, she slammed the door shut. Irritated, she   
shouted through the rose-colored door,  
  
"THERE'S A LOCK ON IT FOR A REASON!" Muttering under her breath, Kagome   
sat down on the ground and waited. Finally, just as she decided that   
the floor looked more inviting to sleep on than sitting against a wall,   
the door opened and out stepped Inuyasha, dressed in a white t-shirt   
and a pair of boxers. He growled at her as she got up, making her blush   
even more as she remembered the sight of a shirtless Inuyasha. Shutting   
the door after her, Kagome sank down on the edge of the flower shaped   
tub. I've only known him for a few hours! What's wrong with me? I'm not   
the type to fall for a guy just for his looks! Mentally slapping   
herself, she started to get dressed.  
  
  
~*~^_^~*~  
  
Hours later, Kagome was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling fan,   
as shirtless Inuyashas danced through her head. Curses followed abruptly

 as she rolled over on her stomach. She didn't even KNOW the guy   
that well! Maybe it was just the shock of seeing him half-naked. He DID   
have a nice body....  
  
Satisfied with her reasoning, she fell into a deep sleep.....dreaming   
strange dreams where cherry blossoms oddly resembled Inuyasha, Miroku,   
Kouga, Sesshomaru, Sango, and Shippou, and where ceiling fans circled   
 her and beat her senseless with mice.  
  
  
~*~^_^~*~  
  
  
The fingers of dawn reached over the hills, throttling the moon and   
pushing it down, allowing the sun to rise. Kagome clenched her eyes   
tighter as the sun's rays hit her face. Rolling over and pulling the   
blanket over her head, she made a mental note to make sure the curtains   
were closed every night. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. Sliding   
out of bed, she looked around the room. At first, she was about to call   
for help, seeing two strange guys snoring away in her room. Then she   
realized where she was. Smiling at the fact that it hadn't been a   
dream, and the fact that she could use the bathroom to get dressed   
without barging in on anyone, she glanced at the clock. Now,   
considering that any time before noon was way too early in Kagome's   
book, imagine her shock when she saw that it was 5:26 a.m. "Damn   
curtains," she whispered, suddenly feeling more tired. Finally, after   
standing there, blinking dumbly at the clock, she headed to the   
bathroom, still shaking her head in bewilderment. Wait till her mom   
heard this....  
  
  
~*~^_^~*~  
  
  
After an hour of aimlessly roaming the empty halls of the hotel,   
Kagome was bored out of her skull. Absentmindedly, she stepped out onto   
the hotel's terrace. Breathing in the early morning air, she glanced   
around her. Trees bearing fruit the size of her fist lined the stone   
wall that surrounded the back of the hotel. Flowers climbed the walls   
and formed intricate designs. Statues of nude goddesses were randomly 

placed about the garden. Everything was   
perfectly arranged, from the little stone paths to the neatly trimmed   
grass. "I wonder how many gardeners this place has!" Kagome breathed. 

  
    She was amazed by it all. Even the crumbling stones seemed planned, as   
if someone went out one day and carefully made the wall seem ancient.   
Which was probably what happened. But wait! A grove of willow trees   
stood awkwardly out of place. Curious, and with time to kill, Kagome   
made her way to the trees. Brushing through the trees' branches, Kagome   
stopped short at what lay before her. A tiny pond lay in the middle of   
the grove, with fish lazily circling in its depths. Everything was   
untidy, the grass unkempt and moss creeping over the rocks surrounding   
the pond. A family of rabbits peered over the edge of a fallen log, and   
Kagome swore she saw the tip of a fox's brush. (AN: A fox's brush is   
their tail ^__^) 

    Immediately she thought of fairy tales her mother used   
to read her at night, of fairies roaming the woods, and wolves waiting   
just around the corner. Grinning slightly, she sat on a large, out of   
place boulder. Finally, something felt right in all of this chaotic   
mess. She didn't need to worry about Inuyasha, or about the show. She   
could just......relax, her worries left behind the wall of willows.  
  
  
~*~^_^~*~  
  
  
  
Inuyasha cracked open an eye. Groaning at the light, he buried his   
head in the pillow. After a few minutes of fighting his awakeness, he   
got up. "Breakfast?" Jumping slightly, he turned to see Kagome seated   
at a table suspiciously shaped like a cherry blossom. Glancing at the   
clock, he saw that it was 7:31.  
  
"Uh....sure."  
  
"Remember, we have to be downstairs by 8:00."  
  
"Right." She smelled different, like nature......a forest or something.   
Not the fragrant flowery smell he had whiffed yesterday. Plopping down   
in a chair, he snatched a piece of toast off of a tray. "Where'd this   
come from?"  
  
"Room service dropped it off. Kouga and I already ate." Ah yes....he   
knew something was missing.....the wolf.  
  
"Tho vut are ee thuppothef thoinf fofay?" Inuyasha mumbled through a   
mouthful of toast.  
  
"What?" After seeing Kagome's confused look, he swallowed and said   
more clearly,  
  
"So what are we supposed to be doing today?"  
  
"I dunno. I guess Sesshomaru will tell us......" she trailed off as   
Inuyasha let out a huge belch. "That is absolutely revolting."  
  
"Get used to it, hun," he said while getting up and grabbing some   
clothes, "you'll be living with me for the next four weeks." With that,   
he yawned and headed down the hall, after swiping a glass of juice   
Kagome had just poured.  
  
  
~*~^_^~*~  
  
  
Kagome sat there, fuming. Just how rude could you get? She had been

innocently sitting there, being perfectly civil, and he acted like he had   
been living with monkeys his whole life! And he stole her juice! She   
angrily stalked off to find Sango.  
  
  
~*~^_^~*~  
  
  
"....And then he stole my juice!" Kagome was sitting on an overstuffed   
purple chair in Sango's new room. The Violet Suite, which Kagome   
thought should have been named the Violent Suite after seeing how   
violently tacky the room was, was Sango and Miroku's new room. Now   
Kagome was shielding her eyes from the brightness of the room,   
complaining to Sango abut a certain someone.  
  
"I hate to interrupt you, Kag," Sango said, who apparently had not listened   
to a word Kagome said, "But we'd better get going. It's 7:56......and   
we're supposed to be down by 8."  
  
"Oh...alright." They hurried down to the lobby, after calling Miroku to come  
with them. He took the elevator, steering the girls towards the stairs.   
After a night of sleeping in the same room with the pervert, Sango   
suddenly developed a phobia of being in a closed space with him....  
  
  
~*~^_^~*~  
  
  
"Alright, good. Everyone is here." The contestants had all grouped   
around Sesshomaru. "It's officially 8 o'clock, and the cameras have   
started." People threw uneasy glances around the lobby. Who knew where   
those cameras could be....."I've gathered you all here to tell you your   
first challenge." Kagome bounced up and down on the balls of her feet   
while simultaneously chewing on her lip. This was it.  
  
  
~*~^_^~*~  
  
AN: MUAHAHAHA!Great place to leave off, isn't it?  
  
  
  
  
I am proud to say....that is what you sound like when you eat toast   
and ask that question. I tested it before I wrote this! And you   
probably are all thinking..."Secret grove? How much more cheesy can you   
get?!" But trust me...it'll come into play in later chapters.....  
  
Cookies go out to all my reviewers! I love you guys! *huggles*  
  
And a special thanks goes out to XxX-SuPeiNGo RuuKii-XxX for one of the   
nicest reviews I have ever gotten. And for putting me on her favorites   
list! ^__^ A special cookie goes to you!  
  
Seems I have failed at my attempt to make it longer.....


	5. Bus Hopping and Purple Pineapples

AN: Finally! I've gotten around to updating!!! I'm sure you're all   
cheering right now! *pauses, but hears only crickets* I said......I'M   
SURE YOU'RE ALL CHEERING RIGHT NOW! *glares at audiance....before they   
burst out cheering* Thank you!  
  
Lawyer 69: You know, that's not the best way to treat your possible   
reviewers.  
  
Shut up. You're supposed to be torturing me, not lecturing me.  
  
Lawyer 752: She's right you know...*takes out a large, pointy object* Say   
it or we shall be forced to poke you repeatedly!!  
  
Alright.....Inuyasha or anything remotely connected to it is not owned   
by me.  
  
Lawyer 36: Good girl  
  
  
Ah...and this is dedicated to Aeja! She motivated me to finish this   
after she told her reviewers to read my insignificant little story!! I   
feel so honored....  
  
  
  
  
  
**All's Fair in Love and Reality Shows**  
  
  
  
Chapter 5  
  
  
  
_Bus Hopping and Purple Pineapples  
_  
  
  
  
  
"Alright, I think I've built the tension up enough." Sesshoumaru   
glanced at the anxious faces around him. "Your first challenge is to   
sell one-hundred and fifty items of your picking. Each item is fifty   
cents each." Hushed mutters sounded from the group. Shippou looked   
nervously over at Rin, who gave him a big grin. Comforted, but a little   
weirded out by her happy-go-luckyness, he looked over at Kagome. She   
seemed as nervous as him. Come to think of it, everyone seemed as   
nervous as him. "The way you will choose your items is have one member   
from each team select a number. Each number has a corresponding item."   
Sesshomaru held out a large top hat, shaking it slightly, as if to say   
"Don't worry, there's actually paper in here. I'm not just being weird."  
  
"I shall go and get ours, Sweet Kagome," Kouga grinned at Kagome.  
  
"Oh, uh, sure. Whatever." Kagome looked distractedly over his shoulder   
at Sango.  
  
"Let me Lady Sango!!! I shall go and get it!" Miroku was begging Sango   
to let him get it. Sango looked rather cross, shaking him off and   
replying angrily:  
  
"No way! With your luck, you'll probably go and pick some number   
like....44….and we'll get stuck with pink fuzzy bunny   
slippers!" Giggling, Kagome directed her gaze from Sango and Miroku to   
Shippou and Rin.  
  
"May Rin get our paper Shippou-chan?"  
  
"Uh...sure Rin." Shippou colored slightly as she hugged him and skipped   
up to Sesshomaru.  
  
"Hey, wench, did the wolf go and get our slip of paper?" Kagome   
whipped around to come face to face with Inuyasha.  
  
"Uh, yeah. And I have a name, you know...."  
  
"Yeah, isn't it Katie or something?"  
  
"KAGOME! KA-GO-ME! Use it!" Her cheeks burned as she remembered last   
night, and she added, "Oh, and next time, lock the bathroom door."  
  
Inuyasha winked roguishly. "Oh, come on, you know you liked it..."  
  
Kagome snorted. "Yeah, right. I would rather have a ceiling fan hack   
off my limbs than see you shirtless again!" And I'm totally   
lying....she thought to herself.  
  
Inuyasha opened his mouth to retort, but he was cut short by Kouga's   
entrance. "Uh....guys.....look what we've got." Kagome and Inuyasha   
gaped at the contents of the cart Kouga was pulling behind him.  
  
"Purple....pineapples?" Inuyasha snarled and grabbed Kouga's collar.   
"You...got...us...purple...pineapples...."  
  
"Inuyasha....go easy on him....it's not his fault...look around you!"   
She pointed in Sango and Miroku's direction, where Sango was wailing,   
"I GOT NUMBER 44! IT WAS PINK FUZZY BUNNY SLIPPERS!!" Then Kagome   
pointed to Kikyou and Naraku, where they stood puzzling over their   
tangerine teapots. She reluctantly pointed to Shippou and Rin, who were   
staring happily at their good fortune: a mound of candy bars.  
  
"But purple pineapples?" Kouga even looked skeptically at Kagome. "Who   
the hell is going to buy purple pineapples?"  
  
"A collector?"  
  
Inuyasha scowled at her. "Funny, I agree with Wimpy Wolf over here. No   
one in their right mind is going to buy a purple pineapple! Did you   
forget that we have to sell A HUNDRED AND FIFTY?!"  
  
"Yes," she replied meekly.  
  
"Alright constants, on your mark, get set, GO!" Sesshomaru's shout   
declared the start of their race. Shippou and Rin raced around the   
lobby, stopping every hotel employee and visitor. Kikyou and Naraku   
staggered out the door and down the street. Miroku was desperately   
trying to pull Sango, who was still sobbing over their horrible luck,   
out the door.  
  
Kouga turned to Kagome and Inuyasha. "Alright, let's do this."  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
"Excuse me sir! Would you like to buy a purple---no? Oh, alright."  
  
"Look, it's simple. You give me two measly quarters, and in exchange,   
I'll give you a pineapple!"  
  
"BUY A PINEAPPLE OR I'LL RIP YOUR THROAT OUT!" Kagome looked over at   
Kouga, using his wily ways and charm to convince three people to buy   
their fruit. Inuyasha, on the other hand, had....convinced.....sixteen   
people to buy them. Using brute force, of course.  
  
  
She, Kagome, however, had not managed to sell a single one. "Time for   
plan B," she muttered. She tracked down a huge group of twenty guys.   
"Hey, you! Over there! Buy one of my pineapples and I'll give you my   
number!" She winked seductively.  
  
"Alright baby!" They rushed over and purchased their fruit. "Now   
where's our extra surprise?" one called.  
  
"Oh, right. Here you go!" She hastily handed him a scribbled number on the   
back of a business card one of the guys gave her.  
  
"Hey, thanks baby! We'll call you!" They sniggered and took off.  
  
"What the fuck was that?!" Inuyasha stormed over. "Why'd you give those   
jerks your number?"  
  
"I didn't. I gave them the number of the pizza place downtown. They're   
going to get plenty of business thanks to me..."  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
"Would you like to buy some chocolate, to help a good cause?" Shippou   
and Rin were parked outside of one of the hotel rooms, where they put   
on their most innocent faces for the old lady standing at the door.  
  
"Of course dears! How many do you have left?"  
  
"We've got eight boxes left," replied Shippou innocently.  
  
"I'll take the lot! You are so ADORABLE!" She reached out to engulf him   
and Rin in a bug huge, before handing them a fifty dollar bill. "Keep   
the change sweetums."  
  
"Thank you ma'am!" Rin grinned at her.  
  
"See, what'd I tell you Rin? Our cuteness is over powering!"  
  
"Rin is glad to be working with you Shippou-chan!" She hugged him.  
  
"Uh....yeah.....let's get back to Sesshomaru." he blushed again,   
thinking that all of the blood rushing to his cheeks wasn't   
healthy......  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
"Look Naraku....all we have to do is go to that antique shop down the   
road, convince them that they're antiques, and hurry back to the hotel!   
It's foolproof!"  
  
"Except for the whole antiques being old thing. These teapots are brand   
new!"  
  
Kikyou looked thoughtfully around them, before picking up an armful of   
dirt and scattering it over the mountain of teapots. "There. They'll   
never know the difference. Now come on!"  
  
  
~*~^_^~*~  
  
  
"Look! A bus! I've got an idea!" Kouga motioned Kagome and Inuyasha   
over to him. Their pile of pineapples had shrunk drastically to only 63   
pieces of fruit left. Inuyasha had scared 23 others out of their mind,   
Kouga had laid on the charm and coaxed 16 people to buy them, and   
Kagome had given the pizza place 24 new customers.  
  
"He has an idea? What a shock!" Inuyasha feigned amazement.  
  
"Shut up idiot. I don't see you coming up with any ideas."  
  
"Thank you, Kagome. Now, as I was saying.....I think we should hop buses   
all over town and sell them on the bus, that way they can't run away   
from us." Kouga smiled proudly as he delivered them his idea.  
  
"..........Bus hopping?"  
  
"Yes, bus hopping!"  
  
Kagome looked thoughtfully at the bus behind them. "You know......it   
just might work......"  
  
  
~*~ ^_^~*~  
  
"See? i told you it would work out!"  
  
"I must admit, Houshi......I didn't think selling the slippers BACK to   
the department stores would work...."  
  
"See? You just have to trust me!"  
  
"I guess you're right....GET YOUR HAND AWAY FROM ME!!" *slap* "TRUST   
YOU?! HAH!! I'D RATHER TRUST A RAVENOUS SQUIRREL NOT TO EAT ME!!" Sango stormed off in the direction of the hotel.  
  
"Damn.....I was so close too.......Sango!! Wait up!!! I'm sorry!!"  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
"Look, these teapots have been in my family for ages!"  
  
"Miss, you can't really expect me to believe that 150 dirty, tangerine   
teapots have been in your family for generations..." The clerk behind   
the desk looked down his nose at Kikyou.  
  
"Alright...here. We don't expect you to believe us..." Naraku stepped   
up and pulled 500 dollars from his pocket. "But maybe you could   
pretend...." He slipped the bills towards the man. The clerk eyed them   
hungrily.  
  
"How much do I owe you?"  
  
  
~*~^__^~*~  
  
"Look madam...it's a long bus ride until your stop...and I'm not going   
to leave this seat until you buy a pineapple." Inuyasha folded his arms   
across his chest and sat down next to an agitated middle-aged lady.  
  
"Fine!! JUST LEAVE!!!"  
  
"Pleasure doing business with you!" He saluted her and moseyed over to   
Kagome. He caught her smug glance. "Alright...so the wolf had ONE good   
idea..."  
  
"Yup! And thanks to him...the fruit is all gone! Now go and apologize   
for being so rude to him...come on! Shoo!"  
  
"WHAT?! I'M NOT GOING TO SAY SORRY TO THAT JERK!"  
  
"What has he ever done to you that makes you hate him so much?!"  
  
"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS BITCH!!" Kagome noticed the sharpness of his   
words and wisely dropped it.  
  
"Fine, fine. Now let's go find him and get back to the hotel......."  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
An: WHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! There I go again....on my short chapterness. Ah,   
well.  
  
Wheee!! To Zero27.....I took your advice and focused on others!!! Thank   
you!!!  
  
As to all of my other reviewers...thank you so much for all of the   
encouragement!! Couldn't do it without you! Hugs to all!!! I'll be back   
soon with another chapter....hopefully....  
  



	6. Security Tapes Never Lie

An: Ehehehe. *rubs back of head* Uh......by the prodding of all of you   
wonderful reviewers (especially sashlea...ok...stop poking me with   
that sharpened end of the toothbrush now....yes....that's what you can   
poke me with to get me to update.....) I am BACK!  
  
Lawyer 698: *shaken awake* GUILTY! Snrk...huh?  
  
Wow....have I been gone this long? *looks at dusty and cobwebby room   
full of snoring lawyers*  
  
Lawyer .02365: *yawn* YES! Where have you been?  
  
Uh....well....you see.....  
  
Lawyer 785: Oh.....were you abducted by extraterrestrial ducks again?   
*note sarcasm*  
  
Hey.....that only happened that one time...  
  
Lawyer 6321: Yeah, yeah. You'd better have a good excuse why you've   
been keeping everyone waiting...  
  
Two words: Studying for exams.  
  
Lawyer 4: That's three words.  
  
Shut up! Anyways....exams are all this week and I've been so choked up   
with schoolwork and winter break activities (I went to Turks and Caicos   
in the Caribbean!) that I haven't had much time to BREATHE much less   
update. What can I do to make it up to you?  
  
Lawyer 59: Uh....a disclaimer?  
  
Lawyer 65: Yeah....that sounds about right.  
  
Er...ok...uh....all rights of Inuyasha are not owned by me. Or you. So   
really you can't brag either.  
  
Lawyer 1.2: Thank you!  
  
  
Oh...and this little fic is dedicated to Aeja.....who I hope had a   
wonderful Christmas and has a wonderful birthday (coming up!).  
  
And to all of my other wonderful reviewers......I am forever in your   
debt! You have shaken me out of my slack-off slump!  
  
  
  
  
All's Fair in Love and Reality Shows  
  
Chapter Six  
  
Security Tapes Never Lie  
  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
"Well, it seems the last of the stragglers have arrived." Sesshoumaru   
looked over the little assembly, eager faces peering over their   
opponents' heads. "Alright, the scores have been tallied, and are being   
transferred to our score screen." As soon as the words had left his   
mouth, a large television screen rolled in behind Sesshoumaru, followed   
by a bunch of sweaty, out of breath behind-the-scenes crew.  
  
"Aight, 'ere ya are Sess-ah-mare-oo." The biggest, sweatiest, and most   
out-of-breath worker stepped up; then motioned for his crew to leave.  
  
"It's Sesshoumaru," Sesshoumaru flinched at their retreating backs.   
"Stupid low budget....we get a lousy crew..." He trailed off, seeing   
the contestants puzzled faces. Grinning cheesily and adopting a more   
gameshow-y voice, he continued. "Ah yes! Are you ready?" The words   
seemed rather stupid. The air was thick with tension and they all   
looked eagerly and nervously at the blank screen, willing it with their   
minds to turn on. Sesshoumaru clicked the button on the remote, and the   
big silver screen lit up. Gasps and cries of "No way!" or "ARGH! I   
can't believe they beat us..." went up.  
  
  
Shippou and Rin were in first place, with 800 points to their name.   
Miroku and Sango were next, with 600; followed closely behind by two   
other couples, then Naraku and Kikyo with 321. Following them were   
Kouga, Kagome, and Inuyasha.  
  
In last place.  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
"I can't believe he didn't tell us that you got extra points for what   
time you came!" Kouga was sprawled out on his bed, groaning at their   
unfortunate luck.  
  
"Ah, stop whining about it!" Inuyasha snarled. Kouga threw his shoe at   
him, and it turned to an all out brawl.  
  
Kagome was seated in an over-flowery and overstuffed chair in the   
corner, shaking her head at the two's pathetic bickering. "Will you two   
STOP it?! What's wrong with you guys?! All you've done since we've   
gotten here is argue like five-year olds! Geez!" She stomped out   
angrily.  
  
The two male occupants of the room blinked at each other, until   
Inuyasha asked, "What got lodged up her butt?"  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
In the garden, among the willow trees, Kagome hid, huddled up on a   
sun-warmed rock by the pond. She drew her knees closer in, and put her   
chin on top of them. Homesickness washed over her. She sighed, and   
threw a pebble into the little pond, shaking the lazy goldfish awake.   
"Kouga's right..." she told the fish. "He should've told us. Argh...I   
can't believe my life for the next month is going to be on national   
television!" Sighing once more, she slunk out of the grove. Sure,   
everyone would jump at the chance to compete with members of the   
opposite sex on national television. Everyone except for her, of course.   
Life was so unfair sometimes.....  
  
(AN: Yesh....I've gotten several complaints about the willow grove...it   
being too "clicheyishly magical-like" and whatnot. But trust me people!   
IT WILL COME INTO PLAY! And with that said...onto the fic!)  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
"ARGH! How did you get so good? And at chess....a SMART people's   
game!" An unnaturally high male voice emitted from the Tiger Lily Suite.  
  
"Shut up brat! Maybe it's because I'm SMART?" A much lower voice of the   
same gender was released through the cracks in the door.  
  
The higher male's voice rang out once more. "Yeah, sure. Saying you're   
smart is like saying that Miroku won't rub another girl's butt ever again! I   
bet Kagome could kick your ass at this!"  
  
"HA! I'd love to see her try!"  
  
Said girl happened to be strolling by said suite when this was   
said. Curious, she peeked around the corner, only to be blinded by the   
garish orange decor. Blinking and scrubbing her eyes silently, a small   
red-haired boy and a scowling certain silver-haired roommate were   
sitting at a tiger lily-shaped table, starting a new game of chess.   
Watching for a few seconds as each player made their fourth moves, she   
noticed Inuyasha's king. Grinning broadly to herself, Kagome couldn't   
resist what she did next.  
  
Creeping up behind Inuyasha, and motioning for Shippou to stay cool,   
she slowly reached out her hand and....  
  
"Checkmate, Inuyasha." Her fingers toyed with the rook in her grasp.  
  
The room was silent.  
  
Five moves.....  
  
Five moves and the game was won.  
  
"Wow….I TOLD YOU!" The stunned silence of the room was quickly   
dispersed in an instant, courtesy of Shippou's taunts. "SHE BEAT YOU!!   
AND SHE ONLY MADE ONE MOVE!!!" Kagome smiled at Shippou, then turned to   
Inuyasha's shocked face.  
  
His astonishment quickly turned to anger. "How the hell did you beat   
me? I've been the reigning champ back home for the past three years!"  
  
"Yeah? Well, when your Grandfather insists on making you sit and listen   
to his lectures for three hours every single day since you were five   
years old, and the only remotely interesting thing in the room is an   
old chess set, you'd be pretty good too." Pausing to pat Shippou's   
head, who was still ridiculing Inuyasha's grand defeat, Kagome strode   
out of the room.  
  
Finally...things were looking up.  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
"Alright Miroku," Sango said through clenched teeth. "Why don't you   
take a shower first? I can wait." She balled her hands into fists and   
shut her mouth tightly.  
  
"See? That wasn't so hard! You've just got to learn to be more ladylike,   
since we're going to be living with each other for a month," Miroku   
crossed his arms and smiled.  
  
But ladylike? Sango snapped, "Alright monk. You have made me sit here,   
for the past four hours, teaching me manners, all because of the fact   
that I forgot to say sorry when I stepped on a crewman's foot."  
  
"Yes. There are four things women should be: nice, considerate, dainty,   
and pretty. Especially the last one. Now, I've noticed how wrongly you   
hold cups. Here, take this glass of ice water an-" Miroku was cut off   
by the unpleasant sensation of a certain iced beverage being flung in   
his face. Wiping his eyes, he saw the door slam, and muttered, "Five.   
There are FIVE things a woman should be. They should be less touchy,   
and less prone to anger."  
  
"That's six things, you idiot." He looked up to find Kagome casually   
leaning against the door frame, cracking her knuckles. "I just ran into   
a raging Sango in the hall. She says to give you this." Kagome briskly   
trotted over to the loud purple chair Miroku was currently residing in,   
and smacked him.  
  
Hard.  
  
"Courtesy of Sango!" Kagome grinned and saluted the reeling monk, who   
was clutching his cheek and moaning.  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
Grinning up at the ceiling fan, Kagome threw herself on her bed. Her   
bad mood had temporarily dispersed. She was just drifting off to the   
lull of the fan, when a laughing Shippou, a furious Inuyasha, a   
perplexed Sango, and a rather blank Miroku burst into the room. "Whazza   
mazza?" she inquired groggily. Sango angrily shoved a rectangular   
object into her arms. After rubbing her eyes, Kagome looked from   
Sango's glowering face, to Inuyasha's scowling one, then to Miroku's   
seemingly expressionless one, and Shippou's grin, then finally at the   
tape. On top of the tape a label was plastered with the words, Scurt   
tp. Us or tic tell on it. "Scurt tp. Us or tic tell? What the hell is   
that supposed to mean?"  
  
"No you blockhead! Look closer!" Inuyasha rolled his eyes at her.  
  
Sticking out her tongue at him, Kagome rubbed her eyes, then looked   
again. "'Security Tape. Use for Hectic Hotel.' WHAT?!" She was suddenly   
wide awake. "WHAT THE HELL IS ON THIS?!"  
  
Sango pointed to the t.v. in the corner, then motioned to the VCR at   
the bottom. "Look." She took the tape and pushed it in, clicking on the   
television. A fuzzy screen popped up, before clearing up and revealing   
Kikyo screaming various insults at a ducking Naraku while forcefully   
throwing blunt objects at him. "HOW COULD WE COME IN SECOND TO LAST   
PLACE?! IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT!" The television Kikyo seemed furious.   
Imagine what she was like in reality, thought Kagome.  
  
"A tad competitive, isn't she?" Shippou looked anxiously at the screen.   
Sango shook her head at the on-screen Kikyo, then fast-forwarded to the   
next camera shot. They watched as Eri and Hojo, one of the other teams,   
quarreled over the remote control, then as Yura and Jaken, also the   
other not-as-well-known team, sat in silence, apparently very   
uncomfortable with each other's presence. Finally, inside the same   
vulgarly orange room that Rin and Shippou shared, Shippou and Inuyasha   
came into focus, showing Inuyasha whooping Shippou in three games of   
chess, and then his spectacular defeat to Kagome.  
  
"Wow, I didn't know you were that good, Kagome!" Sango laughed as she   
hit rewind and watched Inuyasha's marvelous loss to Kagome again. Her light   
mood suddenly turned dark, however, when she and Miroku came up. Miroku   
was droning on, and on the screen you could see Sango's face flushing   
under her dark hair.  
  
"Alright monk. You have made me sit here, for the past four hours,   
teaching me manners, all because of the fact that I forgot to save   
sorry when I stepped on a crewman's foot."  
  
"Yes. There are four things women should be: nice, considerate, dainty,   
and pretty. Especially the last one. Now, I've noticed how wrongly you   
hold cups. Here, take this glass of ice water an-" Miroku was cut off   
by the unpleasant sensation of a certain iced beverage being flung in   
his face.  
  
Just watching this again, made Sango give Miroku a dark look, making   
him scoot the other side of the room. All was forgiven for the   
moment, though, as Sango saw her revenge take place through Kagome's   
palm. Kagome smirked at Miroku, then looked over to Shippou, Inuyasha,   
and Sango, all of whom were holding up cards with big "10"'s on them.   
Taking a bow, she then asked, "So, why were you guys so mad when you   
came in here?"  
  
"I wasn't! I found it all rather amusing..." Shippou beamed at   
Kagome.  
  
"Uh, hello, they're using this on the show! This means that nothing   
we do, besides changing, will be private!" Ouch. That hit Kagome in the   
stomach like the time she was playing dodge-ball in gym, and the guys   
thought it would be funny to change the game to "Gang up on Kagome!"   
They all aimed for her stomach region, because you all know how   
boys can be.  
  
"WHAT?!" Kagome beat the 'eject' button mercilessly with her fist until   
it spit out the tape, then marched out the door, calling back, "I'm   
going to see Sesshoumaru about this!"  
  
"Should we follow her?" Miroku shrugged at Sango's question, before   
grudgingly nodding.  
  
"We've got nothing else to do......."  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
"SESSHOMARU!" Kagome pounded on the host's door with her fist. "OPEN   
THIS DOOR! I'VE…." she noticed that Shippou, Sango, Miroku, and the   
newly acquired Kouga, were gathered around here. "I MEAN, WE'VE GOT A   
FEW PROBLEMS TO DISCUSS WITH YOU!" They heard the sound of murmurs   
through the door, and then the sound of footsteps. Kagome barely had   
time to ask in a low voice how Kouga knew what was going on (Sango had   
informed him after they crashed into him running down the halls),   
before the door swung open.  
  
"Well, step inside. How can I be of service?"  
  
Inuyasha stepped up. "I'll tell you how you can be of service you   
bast-urk..." He was dragged back by his collar by a deadpan   
expressioned monk.  
  
"Listen, Sesshomaru." Miroku held up the tape. "We've got a few   
propositions for you."  
  
A flicker of surprise went through Sesshoumaru's calm facial expression.   
"Now where did you get that...?" he queried. Miroku looked blankly at   
him, and Sesshomaru matched his vacant look. Soon the war was on   
between the host and the monk, each giving each other impassive looks.   
The rest of the band watched for a few moments, until Inuyasha's short   
patience went out.  
  
"Stop it will you?!" The two turned their dull faces towards him.   
"That's it..." Inuyasha curled his hand into a fist, but was stopped by   
Kagome.  
  
"What we've been trying to say without success, is why the hell are you  
using this on national television?!" she asked, holding up the tape.  
  
"I'll answer that as soon as you tell me how you encountered this   
certain tape." He smiled wanly at them.  
  
Sango and Shippou exchanged looks. "Uh, well....you see...." they   
trailed off.  
  
Sesshomaru shook his head. "Stealing, already? Tut tut." He motioned to   
the camera hidden in the top corner of his room. The red blinking light   
revealed to them that it was recording. "Remember, security tapes never   
lie!"  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
  
AN: Well, I suppose I'll stop there! WHAHAHA! Will they convince   
Sesshomaru not to use the tapes? Or are they doomed to have every   
waking moment of their lives displayed on television for the world to   
ridicule?  
  
Lawyer 4563: uh....I choose D: none of the above.  
  
Shut up.


	7. Family Time

AN: Er......hey everyone! *gets pelted with tomatoes*Ick......so mushy....  
  
Lawyer 698745: WHERE DID YOU GO?!  
  
Uh, well, you see......  
  
Lawyer 456: You'd better have a really good excuse, orit's..... *makes cutting motion with finger against throat*  
  
Heh....uh...whoever doesn't hurt me gets a cookie!*sees enraged readers and lawyers* Uh...two cookies?How about a disclaimer? I don't own Inuyasha! There! Happy? Please don't hurt me!  
  
Lawyer 6: GET HER!! SHE'S KEPT US WAITING WAY TOO LONG!  
  
Eep! HELP ME!  
  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
All's Fair in Love and Reality Shows  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
Family Time  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
The group of angry game show participants were seated around a table, with Sesshomaru at the head. Any other person would have found the sight almost comical, for they gave off the impression that they were King Arthur's knights seated at the round table. But the contestants were far from laughing. For here they  
were, in the midst of a heated debate over the gameshow's use of security tapes. 

"It's against the law to tape someone without their consent and broadcast it!" Inuyasha said angrily, slamming his opened palm on the table.   
  
"Calm yourself, Inuyasha. Apparently you did not read your contract well enough." Sesshomaru sat in his high-backed chair, fingertips together, as serene as a lake on a summer day.   
  
"Contract? We ain't seen no stinkin' contract!" Kouga stood up and glared at the placid host.   
  
"Of course you did. It arrived in the mail awhile ago. It did not say in bold print 'this is a contract for a reality show' on it, because you were supposed to be surprised when you were told you were going to be on television. It was made to look like a simple government survey. At the very bottom it says 'I agree to the use of any security tapes and/or recorded conversations on the show,'" Here Sesshomaru drew a piece of off-white paper out of a briefcase held by one of his associates, and pointed to the bottom. 

"It then gives you a choice of yes or no," he continued, "Everyone except Nazuna checked the yes box, therefore Nazuna is not taking part in this show. She apparently read the question, instead of mindlessly checking the boxes like the lot of you clearly did. Now, if you will excuse me, I have other things to do." Standing up and ushering the fuming group out, he deftly snatched the tape out of Sango's hands and shut the door behind him.  
  
"Wonderful," Sango spat bitterly.  
  
"Look, all we can do right now is keep on going. You have to look on the bright side of things!" Kagome attempted a smile, but failed as she saw the dark looks her small sermon gained.  
  
"There's a bright side to this?" Miroku asked, cocking his head to one side.   
  
"Look guys, what do you want to do? Burn down the hotel and run around screaming how unjust a reality show is? Hello, they're called reality shows for a reason. Life isn't fair all of the time!" Shippou crossed his arms and looked expectantly at the group before him. "Now c'mon. Just keep your chins up and your eyes out for any security cameras we can "accidentally" punch out."  
  
Inuyasha let out a low growl as he surveyed the hall for any spying cameras. "Feh. Whatever. Let's go and eat something. I need food to take my mind off of a certain reality show host." With that statement, the bunch trudged up to their rooms to enjoy the luxury of room service.  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
Night couldn't come soon enough for Kagome. Making sure no one was in the bathroom, a newly acquired habit after her run-in with a shirtless Inuyasha, she ducked in and began to change. Coming out in her pajamas, she yawned and flung herself on her bed. Just as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard a sound so deafening that she thought a gang of motorcycle-riders were outside her bedroom, revving up for a race. She looked over to her left side, and saw Inuyasha ears poking out from underneath the pillow smashed on his face. "Hey, Inuyasha, you awake?"   
  
"Unfortunately," he groaned. "What the hell is that sound?"  
  
"Sounds like motorcycles, or chainsaws taking down an  
entire rainforest."   
  
"How the hell can Kouga sleep through this racket? You know, I bet it's....him....snoring...." It finally dawned on them. Jumping right out of bed, the pair roughly shook Kouga awake.   
  
"Whadaya want?"   
  
"You make one more sound tonight and I will personally rip out your vocal cords. Got it?" Inuyasha growled to enforce his statement, then clambered back into bed.   
  
Kagome yawned and shook her head at Inuyasha's back, then turned to Kouga. "You might want to see a doctor. Making sounds like a pack of ferocious junkyard dogs in your sleep cannot be healthy." She trotted back to her own bed, leaving Kouga to ponder his snoring problem.  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
Sunlight lit up the Cherry Blossom Suite as dawn finally came, arousing Kagome from her sleep. "Damn curtains," she muttered as she glanced at the clock next to her bed, which blinked 5:02 a.m. at her. "Stop mocking me, you horrible excuse for technology!" Mumbling a string of colorful curses and blinking, Kagome plodded into the bathroom, figuring there was no way she could get back to sleep, anyway. 

Apparently, Kouga had started snoring again during the night, but luckily for him, she and Inuyasha had been too deep in dreamland to hear. Between Kouga and the curtains, she was never going to get a decent night's sleep.  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
"Hello dear Kagome, my dove, my ray of sunshine, center of my heart. How are you this lovely morning?" Miroku grinned widely and dropped his plate down across from said girl, joined shortly by Sango. They were at a small table in the middle of the hotel restaurant, taking advantage of the generous buffet.   
  
"Shut up Miroku, you lech." She punched his arm, then turned to Kagome, leaving Miroku to rub his abused flesh in pain. "Man, you look awful Kag. Rough night?"  
  
"Does Sesshomaru look homosexual?" she grumbled, rubbing her eyes.   
  
"I guess that means yes..." Kagome shot Sango an exasperated look.   
  
"Between the stupid curtains being left open and the sounds emitting from Kouga that sound like a motorcycle race, I got about four hours of sleep."   
  
"THAT'S what that sound was?" Shippou had joined them with Rin in tow. "I thought bombs were being dropped!"  
  
"Har har, you guys are hilarious," Kouga had shown up at their table, crowding it even more.  
  
"You had better not snore again, or I will be forced to follow through with my threat," Inuyasha arrived, laden down with two plates of food. Pulling up a chair to the tiny table, he began to dig in. After a few moments, he finally noticed his friends' stares. "Wha'?"  
  
"Does Inuyasha have any manners at all, Shippou-kun?" Rin seemed repulsed and transfixed by Inuyasha's eating habits, as were everyone else.  
  
"Nope. Not a single one." Shippou said with a smile, earning him a bop on the head from Inuyasha.  
  
Their conversation on Inuyasha's manners, or lack there of, was cut short as the soft elevator music switched off, and a voice came on the loudspeaker. "All contestants for 'Hectic Hotel,' please report to the lobby. That is all." The music switched back on, and Kagome's crammed table sighed and reluctantly got up, the other diners' stares following them.  
  
~*~ ^_^~ *~  
  
As soon as the last contestants filed into the lobby, Sesshomaru began his speech. "I trust you all had a good night's sleep!" A few halfhearted moans were the reply. "Well, you'll need to stay awake for the next challenge! Since you all are going to be spending awhile with your partners, you should get to know their families. Here is your challenge: you will be spending one night with one of your partner's families. Each group will be assigned a hand-held camera to record their actions. At the end of the stay, families will be questioned by judges, and points will be rewarded according to their reports. Any questions?" 

No hands were raised, so Sesshomaru continued on. "Drivers have been instructed of where each of you live. You need only to tell them which one of your families you will be going to, and they will take you. I will pass out cameras now, and as soon as I say go, it will begin." Video cameras were passed out to each pair of contestants. "Decide now whose family you will be going to. You have five minutes." He glanced at the hotel lobby's clock, then looked expectantly at the unmoving contestants. "Come on! Time is wasting!"  
  
Shrugging, Inuyasha glanced at his partners. "No way we're going back to my place. My parent's are.....gone. And I've got a psycho half-brother who isn't there either." He looked over at Kouga. "How about you?"  
  
"Nah. I've got one huge, extended family crammed into one house. You really, really don't want to step foot in there. You might step on a land mine or something."   
  
Kagome didn't know whether to laugh at Kouga's remark, but after glancing at his solemn face, she decided against it. "Well, I guess that leaves my place. I'm sure my family won't mind." Ha, she thought. Mind? They'll probably go crazy over them, treating them like long-lost relatives.  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
"Look, we can't go back to my house. No one's there. All I've got is my adoptive father, Mushin, who'd spend the whole time either drinking or sleeping off the drink." He gave Sango a wry smile. "Wonderful family I've got, huh? Oh wait, then there's my dog, Kazaana, but he's never really around."   
  
Sango chewed on her lower lip. Man, and she thought she had it bad. Poor Miroku, no real family left at all! "Well, I guess we can go to my place. I've got a cat and a teenage brother. That's about it. Oh, and whichever neighbor volunteered to make sure Kohaku doesn't burn down the house."   
  
"So it's settled then. We go to your place. Where we can ship your brother to a friend's house while we have the house to ourselves..." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, before receiving a slap from a rather pissed-off Sango.  
  
"Oh, this will be _so_ much fun...."  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
"Does Shippou want to go to Rin's house or Shippou's?" Rin bounced up and down on the sofa next to Shippou.  
  
"Er, Shippou-I mean I guess we can go to my house. The only problem is that no one's going to be there."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"My parents both died."  
  
"Oh," Rin stopped bouncing. "Rin's parents went away too. We can go to Rin's house, if Shippou-chan wants to..."  
  
"Nah, we can go to mine. I'm sure some relative of mine is there. They like to switch out every so often, just to keep an eye on me," Shippou smiled as Rin nodded happily then began bouncing once more.  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
Kikyou yawned for what seemed the hundredth time. She'd lost count somewhere near sixty-seven. Looking up from her inspection of the lobby's walls, she stretched and asked, "So, whose house?"  
  
"Mine. I've got a brother, Onigumo."  
  
"'Kay." She yawned again, then went back to examining the walls, wondering why in the world she was stuck with such a boring idiot. Her bad luck never failed her, apparently.  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
"Time," Sesshomaru looked back to the contestants. Some were still squabbling over which partner's house to go to, but he was relieved no fist fights had broken out. Yet. "You may go upstairs to pack a few clothes, then report back here in twenty minutes." 

He waved his hand to dismiss them, then sunk into an armchair. Why did he get stuck hosting the boring shows? He'd much rather be the host of a show where people were bumped off each week, and the contestants had to figure out the murderer. Now _that_ was entertainment.  
  
Finally the twenty minutes were up, rousing Sesshomaru from his extreme boredom. The contestants had begun to crowd back into the lobby, dragging duffel bags and, in Kagome's case, a big, bright yellow backpack. 

"Is everyone here?" Sesshomaru surveyed the crowd. "Good. Now, the drivers are waiting outside. You may begin....ack!" A stampede had erupted in the hotel lobby, as all of the contestants rushed out of the doors, cameras in hand, rushing to get to the cars provided by the show. "Praise the lord! I don't have to deal with that lot for the next twenty-four hours!" Sesshomaru strode up the stairs for a long, quiet, well-deserved nap.  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~   
  
After what seemed like forever, the car carrying Kagome, Inuyasha, and Kouga finally chugged to a stop in front of Kagome's house. Or, shrine, actually.  
  
"You live in a shrine?" Inuyasha looked over at Kagome, who gave him a shrug in return.  
  
"Grandpa loves the place, and we don't have the heart to make him move.  Now, come on!" She grabbed her bag from the trunk and raced up the steps to her house, breathlessly searching through her pockets for her key.  
  
"Uh, okay then. Don't wait for us!" Inuyasha looked on as Kagome sprinted to her house. He gave Kouga a shrug, before heaving his bag onto his shoulder and motioning for Kouga to follow.  
  


 Finally, she had found the key. The stupid thing had burrowed into the far corners of the bottom of her bag. Shoving the small piece of metal into the lock, she burst in through the door shouting, "MOM! SOUTA! GRANDPA! I'M BACK!" She grinned as she saw the rather confused faces of her family members peer out through doors, before they rushed over to greet her.   
  
"What are you doing back, honey? Is the show over? And who are these fine gentlemen?" Her mother stepped back from embracing her daughter to survey Kagome's entourage.   
  
"Oh, right! No Mom, the show's not over, they're still taping it. But one of our challenges was to spend twenty-four hours at someone's house, and guess who was the lucky one?"  
  
"You?" Her brother's eyes were still surveying a rather nervous Kouga and Inuyasha.  
  
"Good job, squirt. Anyway, this is one of my partners, Inuyasha," she gestured towards Inuyasha's scowling form, "and this is my other partner, Kouga." She pointed to Kouga's overwhelmed figure. "Kouga, Inuyasha, this is my mom, Grandpa, and annoying little brother, Souta."   
  
"Er, nice to, uh, meet you, Mrs. Higurashi. And, uh, Kagome's grandpa. And Souta." Inuyasha reluctantly shook Kagome's mother's hand, then Kouga followed suit.  
  
"I can see where Kagome got her beautiful looks," Kouga said with a smile towards Mrs. Higurashi.  
  
"Oh please! Come on, I wanna show you guys my bedroom!" As quick as a flash, Souta was dragging a bewildered Kouga and a befuddled Inuyasha to his quarters.  
  
"Well, we're glad to have you and your friends here, Kagome. Now, where did they come from, again?" Her grandfather patted her back. "And what's this nonsense about a television show?"   
  
Rolling her eyes, Kagome took her grandfather's arm and said, "I'm sure Mom will tell you all about it. Right now, all I want is a nice, hot shower and some food."  
  
"I'm sure your friends want something to eat too. I'll go and get a little something together. How does ramen sound?" Her mother smiled again at her, while taking her grandfather's arm and leading him into the kitchen.  
  
"It sounds wonderful! You have no idea how great it is to be home for a bit! Now, time for that shower..."  
  
~*~ ^_^ ~*~  
  
AN: There, a lot longer than my other chapters, as an apology from my sudden absence. Ew, but I thought the ending was rather cheesy. Ah, well. I'll fix it up a bit in the next chapter....  
  
Lawyer 63214589678: Next chapter? When will that be?  
  
Uh, soon?  
  
Lawyer 32: Not good enough! If you don't update within the next week, we will....uh....we will....er....do something...bad!  
  
Bad? How bad?  
  
Lawyer #985: Horrible. Something so incredibly awful, we haven't even thought of it yet!  
  
Oh, joy.   
  
Oh, and although I'm sure all of you know by now, this little fic is dedicated to Aeja, or Aejavu. I am sad to report, however, that I haven't been in contact with her for awhile. I'm sorry Aeja!!!  
  
Lawyer 20145: Remember: something bad!  
  
Ooh, look at me, I'm shaking!


End file.
